Hey there HBO execs,

 

I’m a patriot. I’m all for America. I spent the Fourth of July not one hundred feet away from the Liberty Bell and the steps that Sylvester Stallone famously ran up to train for his big comeback in Rocky, getting, I admit it, a little teary eyed as I heard Barack Obama’s voice blast out underneath the BOOMs of the fireworks. So don’t think I don’t love my country.

 

But the 4th of July is no reason to not show a new episode of True Blood after just three episodes! I’ve barely even got my (pardon this pun) teeth into the new season. What’s going on with Lafayette? The newly awesome, bratty, fantastic Jessica and her human lover? How are Jason’s abs doing? Sookie is whose exactly*? How can I go another week without knowing the answers to these very important questions?!

 

So HBO, celebrate on Saturday, sleep off the hangover, then let’s celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence in the most awesome way possible: over a bottle of True Blood.

 

Sincerely,

Rachael

*Trick question. Sookie is, as always, “mine.”